broken

My heart breaks tonight. I think I have cried 5 times, and in front of people. I never cry in front of people. I cant control it. I'm trying, but something inside of me is stronger then my will power to not cry.


Merry Christmas Candice Beal

Merry Christmas!

I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas. I love and cherish all of you and our special friendship, rather it be we are friends from long ago, just met or my very spacial blog friends, that i hold so dear. I mean after all, my blog friends aren't just my 'blog' friends. I have met many of you, and we hold a special bond that nobody will ever be able to understand. Our CDH babies :) I hate putting a lable on my Jackson like that, but hey it is what it is, and they are all so awesome! The ones on earth just as much as the ones that have passed and are now with their true maker. Our angels are going to be with the birthday boy himself, there is no better Christmas to have then that. I will be selfish and miss Jackson so terribly bad again this year, but I need to chin up and know hes in a much much better place.


Rob and I are having a couples Christmas party this year, and im really excited about it. I always have kid get togethers and fun activities but this year Im cooking Christmas dinner and serving wine and having games to follow with a great group of friends. It can be said that I love Christmas time more then any other season there is. Im about to go Christmas shopping one last time and then Ill be done with everything! I even love the shopping part of Christmas. Heck I even love our account getting smaller by the day. Ok I dnt love that part, but I love giving gifts so much.

Ty is already out for school for Christmas break and we are sitting here watching Christmas movies and drinking hot coco. He's in heaven. Im catching up on blogging and emails and doing laundry. I want to wish you all the very best Christmas ever! May the Lord be with all of your hearts during this hard time of year for a lot of us moms that have lost children.

p.s. Studdard family, I had some things ordered for your sweet twins and it was taking forever. So i drove up there yesterday to see what was taking so long, and the lady said what size again......errr! I was so mad!!!! SO now its going to have to be something totally different. Im so sad :( It was the best gift! I know Shawn would have loved them! Im going to try and see if anybody else can do it b4 Christmas. Again Im so sorry! Ive had their bows ready tho! I hope to see you all really soon. Im praying we get to go to dallas b4 the holidays are over again.


Candice Brooke Beal




Yes i cut my hair....this was takin at my Twins wedding last weekend. Such a pretty wedding!

I have Christmas cards made every year, except last year. It was just to hard to have a family picture made with out Jackson. This year we took some pictures and I am having the card made now. We did something really neat with them :) I was just thinking that I have grown close to so many of you parents with cdh babies, that I would love to send you a card. If you would like a Christmas card from the Beal's please just comment under here with your email address so i can email you and get your address to send it to. I know i got a few last year from some of yall, and we just love them! I'm trying to get a new email for stuff like this so thats why i'm just wanting all of yours so i can write you. I can't wait for yall to see them, I think they turned out great.

P.s I love this time of year!!!! and here is one picture that wont be on the card...

It's makes me so happy to get on my blogger and read all the good news of my cdh survivors. What precious babies yall have. I still pray for the parents that I kept up with that have lost their precious babies as well. I know how hard it is, just so hard, and breaks you right in half. I know you can be so happy at times, but still carry around the sadness, that will never leave and I pray for you all.


I threw a Halloween party for my little Ty 2 weekends ago, it was a blast! Everybody had so much fun. I can't wait till next year, it'll be even better. Ty was just in heaven with all the little things I bought for the kids and the creepy music i played during the party. I made ghost stew (chicken dumplings) for all the guest and that was a big hit as well. I wont post all the pictures, because there is just too many, but will post a few.....Rob, Ty, and I were vampires. It was pretty cute, although Ty is at the age i can't pick the cute costumes out anymore, so that's upsetting..lol. He wanted to be a vampire so Rob and I had to go with it and match. Maybe next year he'll let us do Narnia, hey one can hope :)


Enjoy the pictures!

depressed

I have everything I want, so why do I feel so empty? Oh, wait I remember.....and the pain lives on and on.........Am blessed with so much, and i know this, and have an awesome family. Tonight just seems too hard, it's because i'm letting myself think about my babies. See what I do is block it all out most of the time and just feel a little pain and empty, but then every few weeks it hits hard! I know so many people have it alot worse then I ever thought about having, but I still hurt, and it's deep.

Needed to blog for a minute, now i'll try to sleep. God bless you all, and I pray for all my families that I have followed through blogs. That will never change.

SORRY

Well I cant figure out whats wrong with my blog. Ive tried to fix it as well as others. I'm sorry all of your comments aren't showing. I"m really getting upset about it! I mean, I dnt blog to myself, I like to see that people are reading it. I'm going to have it looked at soon......can't Wait til this problem is fixed! Love you all, and thanks for the support you all give us......it really helps us.

Brownwood Reunion

Every year our home town has a reunion, with great concerts at night, and all kinds of stuff to do during the day. It's pretty cool. There is just so much to do, buy, and spend money on! It takes over our whole down town area. We just love going to this event every year. This year the theme was a circus, ya was a little different I thought. Rob and I went to one of the concerts last night, it was really good, country music. Today I took Ty Allan to do all the fun activities they offer, and we had a blast together, while daddy stayed home watching football and resting before yet another big sale at his dealership. He loves being the sales manager, but I hate the hours. Anyways Ty got to ride a pony, swim in a pool of corn, jump on huge jumpers and slides, pet and fed the animals, got to ride on the train, go to a christen concert, play with the clowns, watching the awesome dog show was a blast, and i could go on and on and on...lol. He also ate Snow cones, ice cream, cokes, and whatever other bad things there are for you. I bought a really pretty bracelet, that i might show you all, on here. I also had Ty's fall picture made by a lady that had a Boothe and some awesome decorations for fall in it. I'm excited about getting them back. The best part of the day for Ty and me, had to be when he was asked to join the circus! Yes he joined, lol. It was for kids and so cute. He was Ty the Lion, and he got to get on stage and show his tricks! I will post the video. I had people asking me if he was 8 or 9! No he just last week turned 5! He just has a mature look about his face, we get it all the time. Oh and he's really tall. The lion costume made him look little again, to me anyways. I just love him so very much, and couldn't imagine life without him. What a blessing we have. I'll post the pictures now and the video...enjoy! Well I tried to upload the video 3 times, and it wont work. I'm really mad now, because it is so dang cute, and now you all will miss it! I'll Keep trying, but here's some pictures for you all to see...........